69taichou69

Alive

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:37:26 GMT

I went out for a ferry ride last week and it opened my eyes to the world round me passing me by. The people the places the food the colors the sights the sounds. ^___^ I'm awake and no one can stop me now.

Hatred gone hell froze over

Fri, 22 May 2009 05:59:39 GMT

all in the title o.o 8D that and NEW HARD WOOD FLOoRING 2 BLOCKS FROM THE CON 8D NEW APARTMENT FTW 8D

WELCOME TO MY WORLD!

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 22:42:45 GMT

It took 4 days with 6 special people to make me wake up and see the world in a new light lets see how my hand plays out ^_^ in a posative aspect

The Puppet Master.

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 18:52:18 GMT

sakuracon 09 3 yaoi obsessed fan girls was having a alright time. Saturday recieved a call from the most unlikely of people. Who tell me who's idea it was to steal from me. And for being able to forgive and forget and get over shit and lies Harris Shiela uve earned my respect especialy harris. It takes a big person to admit things are fucked but a even bigger one to say im sorry. Kim and john i will spare not   temper on i told trhem what goes around cokmes around 1 person got theres and apologized. Kim you always say u want to be a good friend yet u hang out with a liar and a whore just becaus eu want your way and your always betrayed by other well ill be the one to say it you are nothing more then a back stabbing    sponge and im SICK OF IT to believe i had sympathy for you but to find out u and john did all of this becaus eu had a hard on for my old roomate YOUR PATHETIC!

I am a person who can forgive and forget but to talk some one into stealing from me my   things then pinning it on them then yourserlf using them as i was accused you have put the biggest knife in my back . You're a liar, A user, And the worst excuse for a person i have ever had the mis pleasure of meeting. I had so much regret and missed you because of all the drama to find out you wer pulling the tricks. And john if i ever meet your wanna be know it all ass any where ANYWHERE ill shake you to the fucking core and you know i will you pathetic missleading welp of a human being . Reap it. is all i can say reap what you sew.

Kirsten..... What can be said about little kirsten, I miss you .__. we used to hang out so much and you got so busy i miss you   and i didnt see you at con wich im sad for and miss you TOT . Lizzy DAMMIT I MISSED UR MUDKIP and im glad you talked to me was nice to see a friendly smile. Alex i missed you man i wanted to see you D: miss ya man.

Laura Kia and Ed ed is hyper but has major talent with a needle n thread all be it a little rambunctious is a welcome friend to have.
Kia was making her costume dragging others down with her wont have that anymore gonna make her fix all of her stuff prior to con but i wouldent have changed it for the world. And laura kiki had to have been the on eperson to keep me   goin weak tired exhausted hungry and 1 person was encouraging was makin sure i was alright gave me the oppertunity to room at con and i cant thank her enough (aside from paying her back for others con debts) but i will do it because out of all the peopl ei know from cons she talks   to me almost daily   for the year we have known one another hard times for her gluton free life style but i have no greater respect for someone. You guys are really all important to me and i wouldent replace any of you its true what people say that best friends are for ever busy or not a real friend even in that busyness says hey taichou we need to kendo or brings you cookies (kirsten) or simply says morning taichou with a smile.

Life is hard but the people u love make it barable.

Rest in peace aunt peggie you will always be with me in my memories getting hot wheel cars making food and eating all the amazing recipe's you could make. Love you always aunt peggie

And ill   miss you to paige you are one person i can never replace i love you paige ill always have a place for you in my heart you wer on eof my best friends.

well every one im writing drawing   amv's its all back n going    so i say u wanna han gout call u wanna do anything U GIVE ME A   CALLLLLLLLLLLLL    TAICHOU IS BACK AND
READY TO ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL

Dealing with loss

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 18:48:42 GMT

a old dear friend of mind finaly slipped out of the coma .. ill miss her..goodbye paige.. you wer one of my best friends who never lied or used me and was honest.. ill miss you T________T

A Long Sorrowful Yawn

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:27:15 GMT

No im not dead despite the wish's. And im putting the police to work on 4 particular peopl ebecause ive tried the kind patient approach.No matter it will be dealt with.Constant worrying about a certain persoon and there health worries about my family what few friends i have though they dont make it apparent.And the over whelming need to just get the fuck out of dodge..What empted all this was there some master plan?Some prick behind the controls saying lets fuck it up a little more ;D? Not quite sure anymore mind numing work might lose my condo and possibly my mind. Would have los tit had not been for my 2 best friends my little brother and best friend chris and 1 other dear person.So any who im alive world you can still bite my cork but now its known i live . So when does me and the world hand out .

Side note I GOT ROCK BAND NYAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA

HAHAHAHA Misguided Tragedy

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 21:24:21 GMT

What else would be appropriate to call my life hipacritical friends ass holes jerks destroyers users and liars tisk tisk taichou how could u jus let ur guard down and trust people shame on you shame shame in all duality im just typing to my self to show my self how ignorant ive been trusting shady people who have less sense then a penny ooooooooooh well what the hell may as well spell it out   i was told i spent all my money before aki con 50 dollars tward bills 50 for food for the ungrateful peopl ei roomed with 25 for a 1 of a kind harlock grav gun 20 on art for my little brother mom n dad and 15 for my dinner the night i left then sakuracon i spent 400 for a friends costume to be sure she was ready used my condo as a hotel wich got trashed carted em around at or expense and even took my lest 20 dollars n got people food at the con gosh im sucha prick.

indeed i am and to those who lik eto piss me off for taking my armor a bayonett i payed for and a   antique katana and a sword they dont even own onc eu transfer money to   sita's account its becomes hers and we have the reciepts to prove it ^________^ so if im pushed il;l push harder instead of using me and then running to my friends when i put my foot up ur ass for being a lazy ass hole becuas eu work boohoo I WORKED 12 HOURS A FUCKIN DAY TILL I MET U Guys and then i stopped unlik eu i made money enough to be lazy i dont care who believe's me or not boo fuckin hoooo ^________^ im a hertless prick for sayn u worked go clean UR FUCKIN PIGSTYE OF A ROOM and i do believe she was the x factor my condo got messy and now it seem to be clan and staying it odd takin 4 bags of trash outta some ones room finding dishes of food scattered around eh its fine why dwell i know who the real friends are just a pitty i wasted almost 2 years on the ones who werent nothin but blind hipacrits and i just dont giva fuck any more let them be it will come back to them i promise that karma always bites one in the ass they taught me that and BOY does it ^_______^

putting ur   faith in some one who lies and get spissed when u dont bend to there fuckin will yeah i tease n taunt my friends but its me its my way to show i care dont lik eit fuck off and die and ge toutta my life i aint gonna be som elil conformist bitch to the masses so people will like me u be u and in the end thats who u are but almsot 2 years and im brushed off like im nothing? hahaha ooooooh the old taichou never left he has been here a lil lost and scared all along ^______^ but real friends would have seen that but blind pansies arent my friends any more and to any one who reads this if u dont like that touch titty ^_^ lik ei said im weeding out the bad people while as for sakuracon i now will be stayin with my friend dustin wich i hung out with all last sak because the mass mob of fuck nuts ditched me like (real friends would) for there own petty shit i sat with trhe best funniest group i know but yumi wasnt with us or it woulda been epic ^_^\

oooooooooh and boy will sakuracon be fn becaus eif my armor isnt returned in top shape before febuary ther ewill be hell to pay im done playin this dumb shit and actin like im timid and dont know shit its time to be me again fuck the depression upset yes i am but it will pass when some one ,loses a friend and u simply brush it off or ignore it r not a real friend ur a coward ^_^   shamefuly i know such people but hey who cares like i said out with the bad in with the good went to church for the first time in monthes sunday and i may not be catholic but goddamn it felt good might be going to ohio for a while in the summer to visit my ailing father wich no one seems to giva fuck aboutand ill be findng out this wekk if the cancer is real or just somthin in muh ass thas outta place cross ur fingers because once itsknown i have nothing holding me back nothing to depress me hold me down

fuck the asthma fuck the liars and users and so called good people the difference between me n them is i dont give second chances not anymore liek shaun at kumoricon he hasnt been back since ^_^ and is grateful i didnt break his jaw ive had a long hard life and i actualy wanted to end it 2 days back i did in the worst way soooooooo badly but i thought to my self ar eu gonna let these people beat you? you are the strongest u are the one others look to for strength you are the rock in some peoples lives as i spoke to my 88 year old great grandmother she says to me (brandon honey how are u gramma sure missy you) i reply im alright grama times are hard she replies(now brandon allen barlow ive never heard that tone from you) what tone grama ( the tone like u give up you know how proud of u we all are how much u help ur family with things the need and always spend all u got gettin the family gifts or callin u are stronger then any thing that can bother you yor better then that ) im trying grama as hard as i can (well honey stop trying it will work out youll see i love ya honey ) she passes the phone to my grama who raised me like a son not a grandson becaus emy real mother abandoned me and i started to cry grama i fee like ima failure i feel like im letting u guys down and boom hits mei know theat im no ti know ho wmuch seeing me succeed meens to them

so i suucked it up spoke to half my family and i smiled a real smile for once in along time those i cherish and are true people who care
sita Dad Mom Zack Grama Great grama Scott patrick maddy rose malyssa arwen tegan dawnie auntie april (spidey) scotty my frind who has a kid now >....< laura dustin alex kirsten ruth jake jay kelly dunken robert elise..Max... those are the real people and alot other but those are the people who impact my life i am not alone and i will NOT be miserable ANY FUCKIN MORE useing a friend to get to others then turning on that firend is wrong and tthe deepest cirlces of hell are reserved for people like that and ILL be damn fucking sure im there pointing and laughing becase its who i am......im strong im cocky im loving im vicious im relentles im indominable i am the worst night mare of bad people i am the thing that makes people who hurt others petrified who it is what the reason its will alllllllllllll end here ill get my shit back as i asked or ill be furious at the same time i offered for them tog et there stuff wich i feel should meen a great deal to them but if they want to be pompus and stubborn and idiotic let them it will be there down fall because even the good people have there breaking point

this is my last life journal post so an one hwo has a problem fuckin save it i dont care and so its known alex kirsten none of this has to do with u guys and i trust in ur abilities to divine the truth i wont despute this shit of theres period its beneath me let them spout shit and look dumber then they alredy are makin em selves otu to be let karma give em a helpin heep of ass pain its well deserved i already got mine with a cancer scare withim still freaking nervous about so i have a excuse and u who have and kinda guts know im on msn so u can get to me on there 4 emails have been blocked from it and any thing i own so thats neither here nor there as my last post it needs to be epic

IMA CHARGIN MUH LAZARS

Dr Octaganapus
o O
/¯/___________________________ ________
| BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH

\_\¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

so to all of my friends and loved ones gnight n good bye for now.........

Brandon Barlow (Taichou)

never mind ^_^

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 20:04:11 GMT

keep the armor and the sword im done with you all ^_^ all better ignore the previous shit alllllllllll done

im sorry ... just because it wasnt

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 20:00:21 GMT

infront of biast eyes dont mean its not mine 8D slander is also illigal and theft specialy when the person who made the purchase with there paypal was sita o= oh my oh my salright i dont care any more ether ill get my armor and my bayonet i payed for cuz the knives r mine the walkies r shauns /hmm i jus want my stuff back so i dont have to be more of a dick then i have to be i dont want bridges burnt u work to fix things not run away like COWARDS becas ei know none of u are that so show some spine and character ^_^ its ther eu jus have to find it where ever it ran too TT______________TT it really hurts bein this much of a ass hole specialy when im not even angry any more jus upset n hurt tha tpeople i helped n cheered up OH AND kim remember aki who got 50 dollars in food for u all? i know im such a greedy fck huh 8D the stuff at sakuracon bunking at my place havin us drive s all wooooooooooooooowwwweeeeeeeeee i sure am meen salright ull all realize u cant put the blame of all things on 1 person and kim u of all u never turned ur back on me but randomly poof? lol yeah ur a pain in the ass alot but leas ti have the guts to tell u to ur face and call u on it have fun with ur new best friend ill arrange a time to get my stuff and drop off the res tof hers i can fit in the car her statue n such n such costumes im tired of the fighting ur all in the wrong right now as much as me u just dont see it o__o
i meen really? is all the name calling accusing and bitching worth losing some one who does any thing he cant to help IF CAN i know taichou has lil money now i outlived my usefulness right ^_^ salright u brnd the bridge but dsont mean im at fault when u sit ther eat night and look inside of ur selves sayin was i wrong did i do the right thing ull know becase this is not the first person u did this 2 sheils u act the same way to all when u get pissed but im not takin it u gimme my shit ill giv eu urs no drama no name calling finger pointing and the friendship can slowly come bck if its wanted i want it to but since u seem so insistant im satan its fine see im ranting again i jus dont get it ^_^ be gettin my house in december too boot ^_^ oh sheila u also left ur keys here for ur house u need to think befor eu act let ur brain catch up to ur mouth befor eu lash out D: < its idiocy and nacceptable form any one frined or not ether way im done fightin gimme my shit its over that armor was payed for under sita's name with the online reciept to sita not u jus cuz u transfered money meens shit all this stuff was purchased under her name i want the armor and my wrods 1 wich u didnt even remotly fuckin buy nor the bayonet u got the cabon steal one if u have a reciept for that i dont care i want my stuff so stop ur bull shit and stomping and pissing and moaning grow the fuck up and act like ur a freakin adlt u have no right to sit there and lord judgement over me and bitch and call me out when ur doin much worse then iever could so u can think on that and hit me back on here if u can be civil and keep it short becase ur number and theres have been blocked from the cells for good so im done with it all figure out when i can get my armor and swords and ill be outta ur lives for good till then dont breath a word even remortly tward me because it will be instantly deleted n blocked take care sort ur shit out i love u all be safe have a good evening

on a side note to all my friends

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 19:37:16 GMT

i have witness;s to my art amv's n music ^_^ before u jump to conclusions ask im jus so delightyfuly happy i was right and so blind to what others wer tellin me ooooooooooooooooooooh its amazing

well all venting done

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 18:17:43 GMT

i was nic eknowing u all ^_^ im done arguin fightin dont call txt email nothin me or sita jus let it die like the friendship ^_^ sakuracon ho~~
see ya thar al kirsten

Missreading Miss Leading....rant dont comment dont care

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 17:35:47 GMT

well as uve all recieved those messages and pieced em together ull see exactly why im so pissed atm well not pissed so much as hurt bt its fine eventualy u guys will see wha ti was trying to say i have no animosity im not doin what ur attempting to do and ston ewall me and black list me over dumb shit wake up people my life is at risk i dont giva fuck who you are u have no right non eof u to judge me atm im mor elevel headed ten ive been as of late so im tellin u now sayin i used u sayin ima complete dick who only bullies never helped you're hipacrits

and its not like any of you to jump the gn like this jus tbecas eu all as a collective have a issue with me and fail to bring it to me ALL BUT 1 TIME as u wer moving out well maybe a few times halfed assedly but thats not being debated atleast i have the gull to admit my faults and apologizes honestly and not show hate tward people ive been close to for so long people who flip there switch in a hesrt beat? i meen wtf should i have called u friends? as for my stuff im guessing u lied to me collectivly to my face when u got her stuff and didnt intend to bring me it with is in bad taste and shows how low u are sinking im TIRED OF THE FUCKIN DRAMA I WANT THE PEOPLE I CARED ABOUT BACK THE KIM WHO WASNT ALWAYS IN A EMO PUDDLE RELYING ON EVERY ONE THE JON WHO HAD CHARACTER I RESPECTED THE HARRIS I LOVED TO FIGHT AROUND WITH AND THE SHEILA WHO ALWAYS HELPED WHEN I DIDNT UNDERSTAND THINGS THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LEFT AND I KNOW THEY CAN COME BACK IM NOT GONE IM HERE BUT UR ALL TO FREAKING BLIND TO SEE IT MY LIFE IS AT RISK MY FUCKING LIFE! ! ! !! ! !

AND WHY WOULD THE PEOPLE U NEED TURN THERE BACKS TO U AND IM SORRY KIM BUT YES U DID UR MESSAGE PROVED IT IM TIRED OF BEIN THIS LIL FUCKIN PUSH OVER FORU ALL TO WALK ON U WANT THE OLD ME U GOT HIM AND ETHER U SHOW ME RESPECT AND U WER FRIENDS TO ME OR U CAN ALL FUCK YOUR SELVES BECAUSE THIS PUSH OVER SHIT IS DONE LIVE OR DIE ATLEAS TI CAN SAY I LIVED FOR MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY THOS EI HELD CLOSE AND YES IM PISSE DU HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA ^________^ BUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US IS I LOV EU ALL UR MY FUCKIN FAMILY SHIELA JON KIM HARRIS JONS PARENTS

I LIVE A WORLD AWAY FROM MY REAL FAMILY I HAVE NO HELP EVER ISEE THEM ONCE A FEW YEARS MY FATHERS HEALTH IS WORSE THEN ANY I KNOW MY GREAT GRMAA IS SICK MY HEALTH FUCK IT I DIE I DIE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH FUCKIN WELL BUT ILL SURE AS FUCK GO OUT THE WAY I CAME IN KICKIN AND RIPPIN THE HEADS OFF OF ANY ONE WHO WANTS TO TALK DOWN TO ME AND LOOK DOWN ON ME SO TAKE ALL UR PITTY AND SHOVE IT SOME WHERE SAFE BECASE I DONT NEED IT OR FUCKIN WANT IT

UR BEING CHILDISH ALL OF YOU WHEN TIMES ARE DARKEST U DONT ABANDON PEOPLE U ARENT LIKE THAT NONE OF YOU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE SO WAKE UP UR FRIENDS NOT JUS ME NEED U BT UR TO INVOLVE DIN UR OWN SHIT TO SEE IT

this dumb shit ends here before i am in the hospitl from my ulcer vigerously typing does nothing to sate that anger but when im pissed i think about the good things in all of u ......im leavin not sure to where or when but im going maybe ill se eu all again once upon a time if that makes any sense to you all....

Familia.......

Damn that felt good to just yell scream and bitch..

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:35:49 GMT

now i see why every one else does it a good ol fasion venting 8D an i know al not all of u have given up on me i know i just pray the rest realize exactly how silly there being

How do yo know who is on you're side (vent) DONT OVER ESTIMATE

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:00:37 GMT

Its been a few weeks now since a few choice people gave me a boot in the ass . I dont feel that current events are my fault completely simply because i have finally put my foot down. Im exhausted constantly and ive been sick no clue what is wrong nor does the doctor with is scaring me more . I question that eats away at me slowly if ur friends are real...will they know when to find you when u need them? Im not so sure when a firned is in the worst depression of his life avoidance is the smartest course of action.

It comes off tasteless like ima bad guy for having so much shit on my shoulders. Work causes stress i can agree but to turn ur back on some one is somthin u dont do.....I will stick my neck out for any one who needs me as of late im sick im depressed and im alone . But for ur friends to say we want to help u by ignoring you seems a little ass backwords in logic 1 in particular who i call a big sis to me who i really do miss hangin with.. I neglected her a bit for (new) games ide have when i seen her but i also couldent do wut we loved amv making. But att he same time i didnt have (goliath) my massive beast of a pc at my disposal but i do now and ive made the 3 greatest amv's ive ever made..

But its just not fn alone when my friends need a hand a person to lean on i tell em get ur ass over here n lets goof off not sit and be emo u bastard u deserve it..And its how i feel like ive been cheated otta people i called my best friends because i cant tell them whats wrong with me.I cant tell any one what i know about my health not even my family becase it to much for any one and i refuse to let any one throw pitty at me .I JUST WANT MY FUCKING FRIENDS BACK ! ? Yes i have changed we all have and any one i meen any one who says they havent is a bull faced liar. People change and ive witnessed it right in front of my face .Not that i was happy about that change in me or any one i know.

But its the human condition change..If u dont change then your as fake as any one because u change wether u see it or not. I know alot have been saying we miss our taichou the old cool guy who used to be fun.Well if u take offense easily dont read this becase ull get my feelins regardless of opinion. Not a one of u i promis eis goin through what5 i am nor have the issues i have do u know how it feels to want to go do somthin but ur asthma keeps u from doing it barely bein able to go to a friend house because of it?A cancer scare wich has u so nervouse from family history u cant think straight? A father who is dying and has less time then we thought and u cant go see him no matter how bad the earge?A best friend turning agains tu because u said no to them u need to pull a lil wieght.

No im not angree bot the no thing its all done its the aftermath that is pissing me off.Do u know the feeling of havin somthing in ur body so serious you cant eat hardly any thign and what you do u have to watch because it could kill you? A bleeding ulcer FROM STRESS.The want to do the things you love , Wodd craft ,Amv's even yes,i know it tragic even cooking , drawing , poetry, even writing . I just cant do any of it when im like this and the fact i feel like all my friends have abandoned me..it hurts badly poisoned agaisnt me ditched like i am at cons left lik ei am when we go to han gout somewhere . Then again im used to it dissapointment pain hurt its my life anymore. People need to grow up admitt there fucking faults move on and gtf over em selves and come back to hang out. I sure as fuck have can and do.. But leaving ur friends alone and im sorry guys saying feel its for the(best) its stupidity u leave a friend alone ditched to make him feel better? Im sorry bt a firend dosent do that .. Or go behind your back....atleast when i have a problem i bring it directly i dont hide from it...

Ima dick i tease alot (only teases those he cares about) its a habbit oh well deal with it) i can be very lazy but what u dont know is its whats goin on in me makin me so weak so u can shove tha tup ur ass's n smoke it 8D because. Im tired of this nice guy push over taichou . I LET NOW ONE WALK ON ME AND I FCKING MEAN NO ONE ! ! And i will not sit back and be ignored like some child in tim eout friends stick beside friends no matter what or they arent worth bein called friends.. I will be damned if i take any mor elies bullshit or pitty u ether respect me and love me for who i am and help me work through my issues like true friends... Or stay the fuck out of my life forever . ive had my rep tarnished by a psyco bitch at a con a close friend betrays me because he wanted to ge tin with my (friends) and i didnt smere his has on a wall lost a car lost a roomate lost what little bit of me that made me nt be so cold calculating well fuck u all much u brought it back the same dick who wont let u walk on him is back an di say this once and only once u ether respect me and treat me like a fuckin friend or never breath my name again show who the real friends in my life are..

Im puttin my self first my feelings firs tmy life FIRST...And it damn well be respected by any one who decides they have the guts to stick around as my friend. Any one who dont well im feel pitty for you and a bit discusted but its who u are ull never change.. And thats my view on any one who ditches a friend.

On a high note i mashed some cocky lil prick in the mouth at game stop at pacific place the lil prick was spouting on about how my little brother (was talking to the clerk bout who is a corgial friend) my little borther is ranke 17th in the use in call of duty 4 averageing 40 points per match mvp every time id eknow he handed me my ass on several occasions although thinkin alike it was kinda a even level fight since i taught him all his dirty lil tricks..Well i feel much better now after gettin my emotions off my goddamn shoulders for once . And there kirsten i used sentences and paragraphs XP ya nerd.. So get ur goddamn emotions straight and show back bone people i aint sittin round lettin this shit stand u ether can visit me as much as i want to visit u all and help me throgh my issue wich eventualy ill tell u all but until ive made peace with it i wont or even talk about it till im ready ... You show how much character you have how much respect u have for me u dont show it by running when things get rough that shows cowardice and i dont befriend cowards so dont make me wrong ...Ive changed uve changed we have changed but the dividing factor is who has changed to be a dick and who has done it while bein ur friend..

I know who i am and where i stand do you? I love you all dearly i meen that with all i can muster i love u all so jst dont make that love be for nothing....NOW ON WITH THTE SHOW GO TO YOTUBE SEARCH FOR GraveWolfXII AND SEE HOW FREAKIN BADASS I AM AMV WISE AND I single handedly learned how to se elements 4 and a lil of after fx 8D so its only getting better my vigor is comin back lets see how big this wave im riding can get LETS GO GO GO AND RISE UP AND GET IT DONE!! ! !~~~

3 certain people

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 09:30:24 GMT

THERE BAD CASE OF IDIOCY IS ABOUT TO PROVE TERMINAL 8D no kim not u guys not yumi n not sheila jus a few ive been nippin at the heels of for a while 8D

Tears in the Rain / rant / vent

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 09:42:34 GMT

i cant stop cryin lately i hide it from the world form my friend loved ones roomate i jus cant stop
i cant stand certain songs they make me break down i can barely stand my favorite song
ill wait for you i just need to explode or somthin i got sick from my friend who go sick from my friend cept
in my case ITS A GODDAMN CHEST COLD so a inhailer and nebulizer isnt helpin so i may as well
just up and die -.- i feel like shit im depressed no friend around cant have em around
from bein sick stressed bout holiday plans and money lacking AND I WANNA OFF MY SELF OR SOME ONE
god help all the stupid fucks in the world if not there all fuckin dead HAHAHAHAH TAICHOU SUPER MEGA TENTECAL RAPE
CANNON WILL BELLS ENGAGE 8D BYE BYE DUMB FUCKS OF THE WORLD

Pumpkin Pumpkin ~~ COOKIES! ! !

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 22:10:21 GMT

kirsten sorry iv ebeen crashed all day i r awake now so contact meh when ya get a chance be sur eu know my where abouts cuz i wants meh some pumpkin cookies ^_______________________^ and thank you ^______________________________^

My Life In A Nut Shell

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 20:20:06 GMT

where to start on my long list of bitching riddled with miss spelling and poor word use well kumoricon
i was depressed 90% of it becouse of a friend soon to be former trying to poison my good friends ya know who u are against me thankfuly im calm and there smart and the issue was resolved but it still remains it was pure bull shit and he is lucky i didnt rip his head clean off he upset my my lil sisters and my romate and 3 of my dearest friendssomething i donot tolerate infact the only reason i had fun at the con was becous eof 4 girls my lil sis's malyssa rose arwen n tegan they made me see that certain fat bitches and people who not only cosplay blind people but are infact blind them selves to the facts meen nothin that ther emor eimportant and indeed they are so i pressed on or ide have left the first day on the first evening i was glassesless and walked out side and i swear to god i seen kirsten but i figured she musta seen me and didnt say hello if she didnt wasnt her and then i pondered and worried all con if she was upset ok how was she feeling so many i wished to have seen but once can came boom im alone and ditched like 90% of the time but im used to it and if not for other friend a specific 3 my last day and evening prior would have sucked ass so thanks guys but any way yus kirsten i swear to god u passed me that night im ether goin nuts or u jus didnt say nothin i was to blind with out my glasses to see well pretty much any thing well hmm i did see shapes there wer definantly shapes im not mad or nothin jus wish i coulda seen that smile i luv so much its always hard to get out but when ya do its satisfyin ^_^ i hope every on eelse had a better time lol on the evening before i left we almost didnt have the money to check out from a morons fuck up on top of that a 3 hour train ride turned jus shy of 8 becouse we hit a person on the train track and the car bent onto us and was leaking fulle note i was shaking from slight clostraphobie stress related blood pressure high and fear of explosion when im a car back from the engine i did get a random woman come up and sayin hey that lil girl seen u had a ds she wants u to play with her so to calm my nerves n hersso we played mario and elite beat agents she kicked my ass in a few but I TRIUMPHED in the end once i got to know her she looks and acts like my baby sister dawnie smart spastic and frindly and happy go lucky (Page) is a good kid ^_^ finaly got to seattle and to my bed and breathed a huge sigh of releif fuck you double tree u cock munching ass holes with ur no airsoft policy and tiny ass rooms u stick the highest payers in TO HELL WITH U ALL BUUUUUUUUUUUUURN

Tired Of People

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:13:55 GMT

Have you ever been stabbe din the back os a dear friend would say.
I have to much lately im findin my self wich less and less to trust and turn to.
If im no tbeing abused for personal gain im being stressed.
Co workers and freinds all of em well not all my hand full of dearest friends.
You know who you are may stress me a lil but ill survive.
Im just tired of shit y akno wi let every one come to me about problems.
But i voice mine the get ARGUMENATIVE AND IGNORANT.
And lord judgement ove rme and im fucking sick of it.
I let them all whine and come to me when im needed.
But i have issues of my own i need to talk about but no one seems to care.
No its whining its venting frustration and ide love nothing more then to help and listen its who Taichou is.
Its me i worry i wonder i think i cry i just need to vent and let off steam no more.
Bitchin when i need to vent trashing things i have done or am doing bashing me.
Im so tired of liv ein general stress from work home money issues bills my fathers health.
My brother fighting in school my great gramma's health.
But i keep it pent up i meen does it kill people to say hello to me how are u maybe a friednly call every so often.
I meen fuck ill take entired weeks off work just to hang out with a friend.
i dont mind company ya know but im not the type to say want me to come over i like to keep to my self i travel so mu-ch that i hate traveling period unless its in the city i honestly hate it. Between my nervous stomach to my fear of cars i
detest it but thats neither her enor there i do it regardless.
In any case im tired of bein used and abused for any meens at all other then a friend.
The stress of it all is crushing me it really is i feel like.
I cant scream but i have nothing to say any way.
In any case i jus want my freinds to be friends show me your there for me when i need them.
On anotehr topic im hyper for sakuracon jus wish i had the damn money right now to get fabric for my menose.
Im so poor this month its the tightest ive dealt with haha ill have like 75 bucks for the weekend at sak for food .
Sad huh but im still excited james curtis rose kirsten my best friends only people in seattl ei can stand are comin.
Kim and unfortunatly not her bro for there own reasons wether i agree or not considering i am a fromer drafting student and grandson of a builder who taught me about structure when i helped build.
Not to say they dotn have a lagitimate point but the fear is unfounded to me but its only my opinion and im
damn well intitled to it becous ei here any one elses and stand non biyast to it.
If people dont like it guess they arent friends nor normal thankfuly idiots like that arent my friends and opinions out side of friends are irrelivent.
Im super hyper for it the chance to goof off be some on eelse for a day ..
My friends kirstens sister lizzie sent me a pic of her costume ITS HILLARIOUS i love lizzie spastic aizen lovin retard like me ^____^ well cept for aizen >.> he lieks but secks with old man yama .
Kirsten nothin what ude expect she look slike a kid lol dresses in loli wich is adorable.
if not for her i doubt i would have enjoyed sakuracon she really showed her heart to me and for tha ti love her like a sister ^_^.
Nikki is another one a Renji cosplayer nerd and GAMER NERD like me who has livened up things and her (friend) paul lol.
Alex he is a interesting one funny but focused smart but lax and in need of kendo lessons XD his girl friend is a quiet lil known about her but i like her she is still goofy as hell.
Mellisa my yachiru who has always been there if i needed to love that girl her boyfriend dustin my other friend a auron cosplay lik ei used to be there friend curtis who is my friend who is doing captain urahara with my captain isshin and his fiancee unfortunatly mel wont make it do to a last minute fuck ofer like a certain worthless piece of engery did to me for anime expo.
James i dun know him to well but enough to know how good of a person he is hell ova guy with a good sense of humor and good sense in friends.
Walter A.k.A princess what can i say he is friends with some on ei detest but he remains loyal to us both as a friend and i admire him for that honor he holds.
Kim like a big sister pain in my rear and dumb nut like me a lil byast in opinions at times but her brother john helps straighten things out as do i her and john showed who they wer when they helped me when i blew out my knee at kumoricon and john walked me back to the hotel limping and sat there till i was better ran to get things for me helped me so friggin much he and her are loyal friends few people can piss me off and have me grin about it and say fuck it but they have earned my respect and only this few list has.
Rose 16 hyper spastic lil sis rose she was also helpin me at kumori bein a fan of my costumes and always lettin me complain and givin me opinions on my Amv's it meens the world.
Anthony is a good friend he is a ichigo nut lol a good friend very polite and quiet ill break him of that hahaha.
if i missed any of u please dont be offende dim very sleepy T_T.
Family my father is a man who has had heart attacks countless sergeries and walks with a oxygin tanks and still is remodeling our hous eback in ohio and still maintanes his humor and strength i look up to him and no one else he helped make me the man i am taught me to defend the defenseless fight if it sneeded how to defend my self hunt for food survive in the wilderness or even kill if i was in mortal danger he truly is a man among men.
My grama is the only female i ever had to look to as a mother she was there for me takin me to the doctors apointments
chewin teachers buyin me stuff spoiling me pickin me up from school after tarin some one up in a fight.
takin me to school after i rolled smock bombs unde rthe bus mwahaha was funnyand she still is one of the few who calls me weekly and always said brandon a barlow u can make somthing of your self u could be president if you wanted so dont you dare quit and give up .
My lil brother lik eme in every way personality likes dislikes knowledge strength cept music XD he is a gamer who i have high hopes for if he applies him self with his knowledge he can go places bigger then u or me can imagine.
My step mom is interestin i hated her for so long becouse she did treat me horribly whil emy dad worked 14 hours a day but onc ei met my real mother i know why i was neve raloud to she is a horrible person and a bitch my step mother was a and at times still is a bitch to me at times but she was there when it was needed unlike her fuck head family her dad who i detest her brother who i almost beat to death the day i left for seattle literaly almost did it .
other family i havent met my older brother Tye my to sister rachel and amanda i regret never gettin to meet.
so many others who have hurt me or helped but alas its all ok ill survive well thanx for lettin me bitch and say my mind about things good bye for now all ^___________^